How in M-F-Gawd am I going to do that without a sucking film? Scripting a bad one would be too easy.
It's fantasy. It has an evil wizard named Werdna. He lives at the bottom of a horrible maze, the Proving Ground of the Mad Overlord. The stakes are dire because ... why, exactly?
Yeah, not the best bit of plotting that.
The City has no rulers, barely keeping itself alive in a sea of chaos, all caused by the Mad Wizard Werdna. A pact was formed: whoever can eliminate Werdna gets to rule the city.
A quad of desperate wanna-be's (a warrior, a priest, a thief, and a scantily clad wizard woman) take their chances, all eager to take over, and all arranging to kill their companions once the adventure is over.
> Not there.
Protagonist saw his father, Werdna, go mad. Eventually, stealing the Holy Diamond, he summoned a vast underground complex, the Proving Ground, and disappeared inside, eager to find the ultimate power. Since then, the city has been plague by constant raids of horrible creatures emerging from the Proving Ground. Trebor announced that he will renounce his thrown to whoever can retrieve the amulet and set the kingdom to peace.
> Still not there.
I don't want preludes. I don't want story time. I don't want brothers and fathers as cheap substitutes for motivations.
"Where you go, I can't follow."
Antigone walked out on Werdna twenty years ago, convinced that his research would only bring grief. She was right. When he summoned the Proving Ground using the Night of Diamonds, he threw the kindgom into chaos.
"Mom," said her daughter. "We have to do something."
> Meh. Some potential, though.
When Werdna summoned the Proving Ground, putting the kingdom into danger, the best men were sent in to stop his plan. They died. So another team was sent in. And another. And another.
Now desperate, King Trebor has pulled four unlikely losers from the depth of his dungeons: a warrior (really just a male stripper), a religious zealot, a thief, and a pyromaniac. Together, they represent one last chance to save the kingdom if they don't destroy it first.
> A tried and true comedic setup.
It's one last mission for Trebor, the Knight of Diamonds.
"Werdna, my old friend, it's time for our showdown. When your madness was all about you, I could care less. Now, you're threatening everyone."
With Wernda's summoning of the Proving Ground, the kingdom was now threatened by the monsters that issued forth.
Fighting through the proving grounds, almost losing, he's joined by a young pyromaniac woman. "Girls love fire best. Men just don't understand it like we do."
Later on, he's joined with a thief and religious zealot. Together, the enter Werdna's lair to face down the mad wizard.
> Another classic structure.
Trapped in a house, monsters banging on the door like a zombie plague, a group of survivors draws straws.
"Congratulations, you get to face down the Mad Wizard Werdna."
How? They don't know.
Funny, tense, good hearted, and full of action, four nobodies gather clues, fight monsters, and learn about themselves, all while crossing the Proving Ground and solving crazy challenges to face down the Mad Overlord.
"There's gotta be a back way. Do you think those monsters are solving those traps? I don't think so."
> That carries a lot of spirit with it. I like it best.
"I want my grandkids to grow up safe and happy."
"I want to marry my girl."
"I want to be a poet."
"I want to be knighted."
"I'm afraid that I'll die alone."
"I'm afriad that nobody will remember me when I'm gone."
"I'm afraid that I'll never know love."
"I'm afraid that this will improve the world."
Hmmm. I really need to work on the base characters.
With their attacking unit destroyed, four volunteer soldiers hide together. They decide that because they can hide, they can troop on across the Proving Ground to reach the wizard Werdna, especially as their army is grabbing Werdna's attention.
"We have to make their sacrifices worth it. We can't waste their lives."
One is a water woman, her volunteer job watering the soldiers.
One is a spearman of no particular worth.
One is a wagon driver.
One is a school teacher.
> Intersting and not interesting at the same time.