Douglas Milewski (dacuteturtle) wrote,
Douglas Milewski

Targa vs. The World

So, as an author, I'll play the fanfic game. How would Targa stack up against the great swordsmen of fantasy (both film and fiction)? The fun of this match up is that each genre changes the rules a little bit, making the fights interesting in fun ways. Each genre wants a good fight, and gives me the tools to make the fight interesting despite any objective power differences.

Yu Shu Lien (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) - Michelle Yeoh is one of my great inspirations behind Targa. In a fight, Targa would defeat Yu because Targa's in the next league up. However, the respect would be there. Yu is the spiritual anchor of Targa.

Master Li Mu Bai (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) - When I wrote Targa, I used Master Li as my touchstone for her martial abilities. In a fight between these two characters, the winner is anybody's guess.

Elric of Melnibone - Even with The Wind Before the Storm in her hands, Targa would be no match for Elric. Stormbringer would defeat her. Without Stormbringer, Targa would win with any weapon.

Conan the Barbarian - In this battle of brawn vs skill, I'll leave the winner as anybody's guess. Conan may not be as skilled as Targa, but he's far more experienced, enough so that victory would not be easily won by either side.

Jackie Chan character - Targa would play the straight man vs. most of Jackie's characters. She'd beat him up, but not before Jackie got all the best stunts, and most likely got away. Later in the film, Jackie would have perfected some sort of drunken master martial art and set to a rematch, making himself equal to Targa.

Cyrano de Bergerac - He might not be able to leap buildings and turn twirls, but Cyrano, through sheer expertise, would prove a tough fight. I think that Targa would take the win, but not without regret if she had to kill the man. If possible, she would let him live.

Legolas (film version) - Does it really matter who would win? This fight would be all about the outrageous stunts as each gets close to killing the other and failing. This fight would run so long that each combatant would get worn down, fighting slower and slower as time passed.

Captain Jack Sparrow - Captain Jack would run away. He's no fool. Any survival by him would be through sheer trickery, which he has turned up to 11.

The Dread Pirate Roberts - Its now who wins, but the style in the fight. I see an exchange of poetry as the fight goes on, dueling quotes in addition to crossing swords. Targa should win the swords, but Roberts should win the poetry, thus making the contest a draw.

Benedict of Amber - Here's a good fight, but in the end, I would put my money on Benedict. His is a degree of skill that even Targa cannot yet manage. However, she could take Corwin or Eric.

D'Artagnan - Targa would win. He's good, very good, but not crazy good.

Drizzt - This would be one of those impossible fights where the characters are at odds, but don't want to be at odds, but must be at odds, each looking for a way to de-escalate, but each damned by escalation. Targa has the better technique, but Drizzt has heart. Targa has her goal, but Drizzt feels like his back is against a wall.

Anybody Dead - Be it the ring wraiths, vampires, or ghosts, with The Wind Before the Storm, Targa can do what nobody else can do and kill them. That doesn't necessarily make it easy for her, as some opponents are just that good, but nobody gets to use the "I'm immortal" defense against her.

Jedi/Sith - I really don't care who Targa's fighting, this ought to be a truly level-equivalent fight. With both combattants sitting in genre, they can both use all their abilities to full end. The big problem comes with her sword, but since The Wind Before the Storm is a magic sword, it works against lightsabers. (Yeah, you heard it here first.) Targa will take down any Sith (except Darth Vader, because nobody beats Darth Vader, and not the Emperor), but not without work. Same for the Jedi. She'll lose to Yoda and be damned challenged by any Jedi master. If you aren't a proper Jedi master, forget it.

There are more fights possible, of course. I skipped characters that I didn't know (there are lots of anime swordsmen). I also skipped characters where Targa would have slaughtered her opposition. I found those comparisons boring.

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