Thanks to reformulation of their cookies, item #2 is now false. The cookies now contain dairy. I discovered this by having a bad Thursday last week, and over the weekend, getting a rocking headache. The cause? Low-fat powedered milk in the Fig Newmans.
Curse your Newman's Own. I LOVED you cookies and ate them literally every fucking day, and this is how you treat me? I am OFFENDED, and pretty sad to boot. There's enough that I can't eat without throwing fig into the mix.
So there you have it. The Fig Newmans are still tasty and wonderful and all that, but we can't be together any more. It's like one of those teenage dramas where Dad says, "Dump the loser. You can't see him any more."