Douglas Milewski (dacuteturtle) wrote,
Douglas Milewski

What a Terrible Day

Well, the house burned down today. That was the good news. There were about ten fire engines, a bunch of police cars, and a TV camera team there. It was all quite amazing.

We currently suspect terrorism. As we are in a state of war, my house insurance does not cover acts of war.

That's still not the bad news.

The police found my extensive collection (or what was left of it) of my Donad Duck porn collection. Yes, I must admit it now, as I have been caught red handed, I have this way-gay thing for ducks without pants. (My God, Duckie in a sailor suit is soooo hot.) Who know how long I'll be in prison now.

That's still not the bad news.

I've not been feeling well. The lab reports came back. It turns out that I'm a biohazzard. It looks like the terrorists were using biological weapons as well against my house. I am teeming with both viruses and bacteria. It looks like I'll be the death of the western hemisphere.

So there you have it. The God-honest truth of how bad my day went.

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