February 27th, 2007

Macbeth the Usurper

Dear Devs

My cat wrote this open letter to the devs:

Last year, I finished the quest to open up my new minion slot. I eagerly awaited my new minion, but it never showed. After waiting for months, I contacted customer service, but they could only tell me that my minion was on the way. I had to go to the spoiler boards to learn the truth. You devs hadn't even finished designing the new minions!

As it turned out, the new minions were only available in the next expansion. That's bites!!! I decided that I could tolerate this. I listened to your PR plugs. I was eager to get the new features of the new minion, which included a sonic attack and a social debuff power. I thought about how powerful I would be with three minions.

Yesterday, I got the expansion pack. To say the least, I am disappointed. WHAT WERE THE DEVS THINKING!!! The new minion comes as a baby. I was expecting something like a kitten. Those grow to full size in just a few weeks. This new minion takes YEARS to grow. What a needless grind!!! This minion won't be fully grown for 18 years!!! That's a lifetime!!! What kind of stupid game expansion takes your entire life? Not only that, but the special attacks of the minion don't work against your opponents, they work against you!!! Who thought up that stupid mechanics!!! That's totally useless!!! That's not all. Now my regular minions take tall their time caring for my new minion, rather than playing the "stringy string" sub-game or opening doors for me. This expansion actually made game play WORSE.

Devs, I've had it with this game. I'm cancelling my 10 accounts and taking my business elsewhere.

5q|rr311_Und3ph00t. (Squirrel Underfoot)
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