April 1st, 2003

Macbeth the Usurper

What a Terrible Day

Well, the house burned down today. That was the good news. There were about ten fire engines, a bunch of police cars, and a TV camera team there. It was all quite amazing.

We currently suspect terrorism. As we are in a state of war, my house insurance does not cover acts of war.

That's still not the bad news.

The police found my extensive collection (or what was left of it) of my Donad Duck porn collection. Yes, I must admit it now, as I have been caught red handed, I have this way-gay thing for ducks without pants. (My God, Duckie in a sailor suit is soooo hot.) Who know how long I'll be in prison now.

That's still not the bad news.

I've not been feeling well. The lab reports came back. It turns out that I'm a biohazzard. It looks like the terrorists were using biological weapons as well against my house. I am teeming with both viruses and bacteria. It looks like I'll be the death of the western hemisphere.

So there you have it. The God-honest truth of how bad my day went.
Macbeth the Usurper

You Can't Handle the Truth

Okay, the real truth of the day...

Got a high "B" on my test today. Ick. The questions got away from what we covered. Next week, another test.

I was shredding junk mail today when my shredder stopped working right. It turns out, one ass-hole of a junk mailer sent me a cheap metal key, which did bad things to my rollers as it went through. A plastic hub snapped, giving one side no tension. Damn those junk mailers.

Spaghetti night will be a skip this week. Lots of reading to do for next week folks.

I hope everyone enjoyed the silly news of April 1.
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