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About Santa

Macbeth the Usurper
I explained Santa to the little girl tonight.

Santa is a Timelord. He travels all around the world in a single night because he can travel in time. Because he can travel in time, it doesn't matter how much he needs to do. His sled is a TARDIS, able to materialize inside any house in the world. Because he only needs to eat a few cookies a day, he doesn't swell into gigantic proportions as he eats all those extra calories that people provide to him.

Santa has a sled that has a sack that can hold all the toys, because it is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. He gets extra trips in per voyage by shoving all the cookies into his bag and taking them back to his elves who only need sugar to live on. That, and The Ladn of Sweets always needs new construction materials to avoid Peak Candy.

Santa knows who has been naughty and who has been nice because he can go into the future and ask you about all the bad things that you did as a child. Not knowing any better, and finding Santa a rather chatty fellow, you will tell him.

Santa, like all Timelords, goes by his title rather than a name. There are many saints, but if you say Santa, you mean one specific saint.

Also like other Timelords, Santa is known for his specific outfits. The outfits change as Santa regenerates.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
redwink
Dec. 25th, 2008 01:08 am (UTC)
Finally, Santa makes sense! Thank you for enlightening me!
wendywoowho
Dec. 25th, 2008 02:18 am (UTC)
Bravo!
ex_serenejo
Dec. 25th, 2008 10:13 pm (UTC)
This is so awesome. SO much makes sense now!
bastette_joyce
Dec. 26th, 2008 12:27 am (UTC)
Hello! I'm here by way of serenejournal.

Because he only needs to eat a few cookies a day, he doesn't swell into gigantic proportions as he eats all those extra calories that people provide to him.

Then how do you explain how Santa became the splendidly expansive fellow he is to begin with??

Santa, like all Timelords, goes by his title rather than a name. There are many saints, but if you say Santa, you mean one specific saint.

You realize, of course, that this means that Santa is really a girl. :)

Edited at 2008-12-26 12:34 am (UTC)
xiphias
Dec. 26th, 2008 01:01 am (UTC)
. . . this makes sense.

I look forward to the Doctor Who Christmas Special when they finally reveal this.
c4bl3fl4m3
Dec. 30th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
I'm here by way of vvalkyri's LJ.

I've thought for a while (or rather, since I've started watching Doctor Who) that Santa must have a TARDIS. However, your explanation makes it all accounted for. Bravo! (I'm so sharing this with my LJ.)
pisceandreamer
Dec. 20th, 2009 06:52 pm (UTC)
Best explanation I have EVER heard!!! If I ever have kids, I'll have to rent all the Dr. Who DVD's so they understand what a Timelord is, but that's an important thing for them to know anyway.

Until they ask why Santa doesn't look like David Tennant. :)
clarsa
Dec. 20th, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
Santa's Tardis
Brilliant!
Can you please explain the reindeer?
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )